Frustration and Life

So going off my last post, the more I sit here, the more frustrated I become. I don't know when this all started happening but I have noticed it a lot more over the past few months. I am frustrated with my current job situation, frustrated with my relationship and frustrated that I'm still sick and it's making me feel like this. I know you shouldn't compare yourself or your situations to someone else's, but sometimes I just can't help it. They don't even have to be people I know, just people I see and I'm instantly comparing myself to what I think their relationship is like from seeing them to mine. There have been a lot of things, especially over the past few days, where I wonder if it's all worth it. Everything has changed so much and they have been changes that I didn't expect to happen. Changes with how I feel and how I view things. I have no idea what I am doing or going with my life and that's fine, I just wish the rest of my life was on somewhat solid ground.

I feel as though in my relationship, we've totally lost the connection. It's to the point now where I think about how I'm going to be disappointed next as opposed to when I'm going to be happy next. Things are acknowledged but never talked about again and there is never a difference afterwards. We never go out anymore, it's just time spent watching tv and frankly I'm getting pretty bored with that and with the relationship. Relationships for me have always made things better, they've always been something that makes me look forward to what's to come next. I always start to get like this when I'm having doubts, and I am. There's nothing for me to hold on to, it was all so different and exciting before and now I feel like he's just settling and I'm not that kind of a person. I'm just getting frustrated because I see now that my therapist was right and then when my mother states her opinion, it freaks me out because...she is ALWAYS right in the end...and if she is, then it will make me very sad. My mother suggested that I sit down with him and tell him what was going on and my thoughts about our relationship. So I went home and wrote down everything I wanted to say and get off my chest and we did have a talk, I just wasn't able to talk about everything I needed to. So how do I start again? How do I bring it up and tell him everything that's bothering me more so than what we talked about the other night.

My second frustration is basically what I summed up in my last post. Law School. And the decision to go or not. I really have no idea what I want to do with my life. I think I really want to teach either high school or college, so then why am I pushing myself to go to law school? Frankly because I think law school will be way more interesting than grad school - but that's just my opinion. Luckily, I can apply to most grad schools with my LSAT scores, so let's hope I do well. I just definitely know I don't want to be doing what I'm doing for the next 10 years.

I just wish things would work out the way they're supposed to. I know that everything happens for a reason, but I really want to be in my relationship and I really want to go back to school I just don't know if I can deal with all the problems in the relationship nor do I know which kind of degree I want to get. I'm just so incredibly frustrated. :(